Vietnam Alphabet D

D = Dinner

Our wonderful nanny, Ms. Thuy invited our family and our friend Wallace (visiting from Seattle) to a party at her home yesterday. She explained that it was a combination 2nd birthday party for her niece and a housewarming party for her parent's new home. We had no idea what to expect and were, honestly, a bit overwhelmed with school work and other things that evening. But we knew we needed to go, if for no other reason than to support this special person in our life. What it turned into was one of those rare moments when the expat and local worlds cross over,  reminding us of why we go to all the trouble of leaving home to move overseas.

When we got out of the taxi we were met by Ms. Thuy and two of her good friends. They were all very excited to see us and instantly shepherded the boys down a long, very narrow ally. We followed, with them always looking back and telling us to "be careful" as mopeds sped past. We were certainly outside the Western, somewhat sterile expat world and in Vietnam (and it was less than 10 min from our home). When we arrived there were four tables all set with chop sticks, beer mugs and large plates of a lotus salad (something we have grown to love here).

Ms. Thuy in black and white, her good friend flashing a "peace" sign and her other friend cooking the prawns in beer.

Ms. Thuy had invited maybe 50 people to their wonderful home and we instantly felt not only welcome but like guests of honor. She told us to sit and "not be shy" and her friends served us and kept our mugs of "333" beer full. Then came the food: salad, prawns cooked in beer, hot pot with fish balls, squid, and pork, goat grilled at the table, curry, noodles, bread and coconut gelatin for dessert. All this made by Ms. Thuy and her mother (who kept coming over with this amazing smile and holding our boys faces between her hands). As I sat there I had the opportunity to talk with one of her good friends about her job as a real estate agent and how much she loves Vietnam. She asked me about the United States and said it sounded wonderful. Later an older man with a toothless, ear-to-ear smile came over and raised his glass in a toast to me, then took my hand and told me his wife had died a few years ago. That he was a cyclo driver near the Ben Thanh Market and I should look for him next time I'm there. Is it this easy? Just say yes to an invitation and suddenly you are immersed in the culture you flew 7,400 miles to get to?

When you are an expat it is very different than visiting a place on vacation. You spend great time and energy settling. This, by nature, means you fall into some comforting routines and it is difficult to remember to push yourself out of them sometimes; difficult to remember that maybe discomfort was part of the reason you came in the first place! We go to the same Pho restaurant across from school, we go to the pool every weekend with the boy's friends, we often stay home to enjoy the space we worked so hard to create. Yesterday was a gentle reminder of why we're here and that we need to get out and enjoy every moment of it.

Thank you Ms. Thuy.